*Published by Milk Crate on March 21, 2022
This cowgirl is no lone rider.
The cowgirl in question is one Leah Lavigne (she/her), frontwoman of the band Ok Cowgirl. The four-piece band—consisting of vocalist and guitarist Lavigne, drummer Matt Birkenholz (he/him), guitarist Jake Sabinsky (he/him) and bassist John Miller (he/him)—serves as the indie rock vessel for Lavigne’s musical self-discovery. Since forming in 2018, Ok Cowgirl has produced a dreamy and punchy rock discography, full of melodies that explore themes from deep introspection to wistful longing. Unlike their name suggests, rather than being found corralling cows out on the prairie, Ok Cowgirl can be found creating dynamic sounds in Brooklyn, New York.
The band stumbled across their unique moniker by happenstance. Years of excitedly saying “band name?” following any funny combination of words came to an end after “Okay, Cowgirl” was said in passing. The name stuck and the band has worn it proudly ever since.
Ok Cowgirl was built on the strong foundation of friendship shared between the four musicians. They are not “just a band,” but four people who truly care for one another. Lavigne recalls how she initially struck up friendships with the three, meeting Birkenholz in the laundry room of their college dorm, being served by Sabinsky while he was bartending at one of her favorite Brooklyn spots, and playing synths with Miller in a mutual friend’s band. The four have a deep respect for one another as both musicians and people that is apparent in the way they interact.
Each member came across their love for music in a different way. While Lavigne only recently picked up guitar for Ok Cowgirl, she originally started out on piano, she discloses, “I've always liked telling stories and singing. In middle school, I started playing around on the piano more freely instead of just sitting down to play Bach—I started writing and I really enjoyed it. I found it cathartic and fun.” Bass player Miller can relate, as he confesses, “Music has always been kind of an unhealthy obsession for me—I just can't put it down.” His love for playing music morphed into an interest in producing and recording. In fact, before playing bass for Ok Cowgirl, Miller produced and mixed their debut EP, Not My First Rodeo, intricately intertwining a boisterous rock sound with dissociative, hypnotic tones that easily lend themselves to Lavigne’s musings on sexuality, heartache and euphoria.
A love for music was passed down to drummer Birkenholz, “My parents met in a band in college. That's kind of always been part of my origin story,” he says, “When I was three, my aunt gave me a kiddie drum set for my birthday. Within the week I proceeded to destroy all of the drum heads and the cymbals. My dad was happy that the drums were ruined, but was disappointed that we got new drums pretty soon after.” Sabinsky, on the other hand, had to take some time to rediscover his love for music, “I went to school [...] and didn't do music for a number of years,” he confesses, “As soon as I moved to New York, I had to figure out how to be in a band because that's all I actually wanted to do. I was lucky enough to meet Leah and these happy folks. I’ve never looked back since.”
Lavigne has a knack for making authentic connections, which comes as a huge benefit, as breaking into the New York City music scene—or any music scene has proven to be a difficult task for anyone. She has been playing shows in New York since 2014, but none of her career would be possible without the support she has garnered from the Brooklyn indie rock community. “When I stopped thinking about [music] so much as this rigid pursuit, it really became less of a goal and more of a lifestyle” she discloses. She uses her natural affinity for the genre to immerse herself within the bustling music scene—making connections along the way is only a plus. Birkenholz asserts, “[breaking into New York’s music scene] was only made as easy as it was by having someone like Leah in the band, who is just such a socialite who wants to go to every single show and make those connections and just show up as a person.”
Keeping this in mind, the band makes sure to stay considerate and interact with one another as actual human beings. While the four have an undeniable chemistry with one another, there are always things to overcome and adapt to when it comes to working with others. Sabinsky acknowledges that the best thing one can do is listen to your fellow bandmates. “Being in a band is like being in a relationship,” he says, “it’s a terrible idea, it's horrible for your wallet, it's probably going to eat up the majority of your life. But if you do it with a bunch of people that you love, and you nurture that relationship, and really learn how to listen to those people and grow closer to those people, you can make something very fruitful.” The four have definitely done just that, as collaboration is something that Ok Cowgirl excels at. While Lavigne principally writes the songs, each band member offers whatever they can to the arrangement. “I write all the songs and bring them to the band. We work out our arrangements together as a group,” Lavigne explains, “everybody writes their own parts, [...] we just start playing it until we land on something we like.” Sabinsky’s fuzzy guitar strokes wrap around Lavigne’s silky smooth vocals like a warm blanket, while Birkenholz’s subtle drumbeats and Miller’s bright bass licks work to fully flesh out the songs into the sonically rich versions that fans hear today.
The band plays their songs live for a while before recording them in the studio, giving them the chance to toy around and experiment with the arrangements and see what they like best. Instead of being stuck with one stagnant version that they have to play forever, they end up having different versions of songs that they can choose from. Through this process, the band gets the chance to continuously innovate upon their work, constantly coming up with new ideas to implement into the songs before recording their final version. Lavigne states, “Some people just write a song, record it, and then go out and play it for people. We're very much like: ‘here's a song we can play this way, we can play that way, let's play it like this this time. We really try to have fun with it.’” All of the songs on Not My First Rodeo had been part of their live set for nearly two years before they sat down to record them. Lavigne recalls, “The studio was an interesting challenge to revisit the songs. After you play them for two, three years, you think you know what they are. Having to zero in on things while recording gave us a chance to actually think and give them a new life and really be intentional.”
Songwriting is no easy feat. Much of Ok Cowgirl’s songs deal with introspection and authentic emotion that can be very personal. “Honestly, I just can't help it,” she confesses, “My songwriting style is pretty introspective, probably because I spend a lot of time processing my emotions and my life and trying to understand things.” Lavigne is fascinated with human life, and seeks to explore this fascination through her music. “I'm sort of obsessed with how we all relate to each other and perceive each other and what it feels like to be human in this world. Sometimes it's challenging to share music that is so intimate in that way—I do feel vulnerable sometimes. But that's how I know it's important. I have something on the line—I'm going out there and I'm being honest.”
Many have been eager to try and put Lavigne into a box, labeling her as a “sad girl” who only makes “sad girl music.” Haunting melodies with lyrics such as “Am I just lonely/Am I just lonely all the time” and “Forever is a long long time/But I don't have that much on the line/And I would give it up in a heartbeat all for you” have contributed to many believing that Lavigne can be neatly pocketed into the sad indie girl trope.
Therein lies the problem: Lavigne does not want to be classified as anything—she sings about all of her emotions, so why is “sad” the one that sticks out? She cringes, seeing a commonality within this forced classification, “As women, we're policed so much. We're shamed for having our emotions. We're told that we'd be prettier if we smile, then we're told that when we get upset that we're being hysterical—all of these things. That's extremely unfortunate and everybody should be allowed to feel all their feelings whenever they need to.” She tackles this ideology in “Get Gone,” angrily exclaiming “They'll make you brush your hair/And they'll polish your shoes/Cross your legs and be a lady/Brush your hair you lackadaisy.” As a recovering people pleaser, Lavigne has had to get over spending endless time and energy in worrying about what others think of her and her art. “I like who I am—no shame in that—and you don't have to” she exclaims, “If you do, that's cool, if you don't, fine. That is one of the most liberating mindsets you can have. Learning to like yourself and be nice to yourself is actually [...] a gift to the people around you.” The only one who can define Lavigne is Lavigne herself, and while Ok Cowgirl’s music might take on a melancholy tone at times, that is not the all-encompassing characteristic of their music.
Lavigne declares, “I don't think my music is necessarily sad, I think it's just emotional [...] it's honest, it's real,” Lavigne asserts, “Maybe that reflects life—life is a little bit sad, but I think it naturally comes across that I'm inherently a pretty positive, optimistic person. I don't have many songs where I'm really down in the dumps and depressed—surrendering to it. Even when I'm dealing with subject matter that's sad, there’s always hope or resolution woven into that song. That's just how I manage my life.” Birkenholz wholeheartedly agrees, pointing out that “the lyrics and the emotions that [Lavigne] conveys in the music are more on how to deal with a big feeling,” rather than dwelling on it. More than anything, Lavigne seeks to acknowledge the range of her emotions through her music, thus addressing the full scope of the human experience.
Ok Cowgirl hopes to give to listeners what the band’s favorite music has given to them. Whether it is through helping listeners figure out their sexuality or simply providing them with a tune to dance to, Ok Cowgirl’s mission as artists is fulfilled. Lavigne recalls, “I've had so many amazing experiences as a music listener. [...] It's like a good friend, a grandmother telling you advice, telling you that it's okay to feel what you're feeling, telling you that you're not alone.” Sabinsky agrees, stressing that just one song can make a difference in a person’s life. As an artist, he says, “What you want to do is to reach out and attempt to make some other person feel a little less lonely, or maybe a little bit more hopeful—whatever it is that you can do. If you can do that one time at a show, or if someone can turn your song on [...] and one note in that one song makes it all okay… If you can do that, then you accomplish the goal.”
To do this, Lavigne asserts, “you have to show up as a human, as a real person—not as some artiste—if you want to do that, that's fine—but that's not my style. I show up in person. I'm a person first.”
Not only is Lavigne there for her listeners in a musical sense, but she’s also there in a literal sense. Lavigne recounts something that occurred after one of the band’s SXSW sets: As they were getting ready for their set, Lavigne noticed that a couple was fighting. After a bit, the guy stormed out, leaving the girl teary eyed to watch Ok Cowgirl’s show alone. The band’s energetic set came to an end, and Lavigne recounts “I stuck around for the next band and I was standing there. I looked over and she was crying. I went up to her, and I was like 'I'm sorry, I just want to double check, are you okay? Do you need anything?' She said, 'I'm just having a bad night. That one song you played made me think of this guy...'” The girl proceeded to tell Lavigne all that was going on in her life—presumably relating to the band’s song “Across the Room,” a rambunctious rock tune with the lyrics “Are you happy without me/’Cause now I only see you in passing/I only see you in/Fast moments/At parties across the room.”
Lavigne was happy to lend an ear—and two arms: “she hugged me for the entire next song,” she laughs, “Four minutes. There was this crazy rock song going on in the background, and I'm standing in the middle of the crowd hugging this random girl, she's crying into my shoulder. [...] We all have those days. We all need a hug sometimes. I could tell that a few of those songs had really touched her, made her feel less alone and comforted by me to the point that when I came up to her she wanted to hug me. [...] It's this instant sisterhood. That's why I make music—if I can help a random stranger through a breakup on a random Saturday night, that's why I do it.”
Anyone today can go viral on Tiktok or by posting their music online and pushing the algorithm—social media has proven to be a great tool for artists to gain followers. Like many, Ok Cowgirl has a lively online presence, eagerly showcasing their travel adventures and glimpses into their recording process to their Instagram. While their social media platforms have been a great way to foster connections, Sabinsky stresses that their main priority is building an authentic community. He asserts that really, “It's all about lateral growth, you build this for this person, they build this for that person. All of a sudden you look around and you've gotten a lot more followers than you had before, a lot more listeners than you had before. Everyone to your right and everyone to your left is someone who came right up with you.”
More than anything, Lavigne urges people to just have fun. Immerse yourself in the things you are passionate about and it will pay off—go out and live a little! “Have a good time, don't take yourself too seriously,” she advises, “I waited way too long to start having fun, I was so uptight as a kid. Now I'm having fun.” This overarching presence of fun is evident, as gleeful smiles and laughter is a staple of Ok Cowgirl’s live performances. The band rambunctiously plays new songs, rocking out to crescendoing guitar riffs in “Across the Room,” and mellowing out to express the pure elation that comes with having a crush in “Her Eyes.”
Rest assured, Ok Cowgirl will continue having fun. The band has lots of big things in store—new songs, new merch, you name it—and while you (probably) won’t be catching them at any rodeos, you can follow their adventures on Instagram @okcowgirlband, buy their music and merchandise on BandCamp, and stream their discography anywhere you get your music. Ride on Cowgirl!
